Chapter 7: Owning My Fearlessness

July. Oh, July!  What gifts you have brought to me!  This month, in addition to all the other goals from this year, I added "Be Fearless."

Fate loves the fearless. 

James Russell Lowell

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Dale Carnegie

People living deeply have no fear of death.

Anais Nin

Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.

Karl Augustus Menninger

 Let me clarify a few points.  First, I am not talking about fearlessness in the sense that I am hoping everyone will go out and conquer their phobias or try an extreme experience like skydiving, bungee jumping, para-sailing, or zip-lining. Second, I am also not talking about seeking out danger like cliff diving or suddenly becoming a motorcycle stunt man.  What I am pointing to is a simple, everyday, thrilling fearlessness that changes the outcome of a person's life in significant ways.
It just so happens that this month was a game changer for me.  I interviewed, and accepted a job on the other side of the country.  Said goodbye to the comfort and beauty of the people and places I know in Oregon and took a huge leap into the unknown.  Letting go of three jobs for one was not very hard, but leaving the security of a place I grew up and the people I love for an adventure across the country to a state I had never even visited and didn't know a single person...that called upon my fearless spirit.  Luckily I am familiar with the logistics necessary when changing your address in a big way, so the hum of last minute appointments  arrangements, and squishing in as many last visits was comforting and left little time to wonder about the unknown too deeply.  Only a few days later , and with the help of many people, I was setting off on my adventure driving across the country. I took it as a good sign that I had Sacajawea on the side of my UHAUL. Who wouldn't want a great navigator for inspiration when setting off into your own personal unknown?

                         

Along the way I found many happy moments and treasures.  Here is a visit with a friend and a trip to the horse races! I made a bet and won! 

                                  

                    

I drove through miles and miles of beautiful countryside and farmland. Through  different states my trusty adventure dog loved getting out at stops to smell everything new! 

Who knew there was an Oregon, Missouri?

        

 I finally arrived in Tennessee and found a great place to live!  I am enjoying getting ready for teaching and preparing my classroom and can't wait to feel settled into this next new adventure!

I have made some great new friends and took a quick trip to Atlanta, Georgia for a Braves game! Exploring Nashville and my new home town is so exciting! 

Next Month's Goal: Explore; find joy around you.

Remember these are not just mini-month long experiments, but things that I will continue to carry throughout the year.  Next month I’ll continue to add to my growing list of ideas for how to live a happier life.  Feel free to try them out with me! 

January: Be Sarah- I am already enough.  Smile when you wake up.  Keep on top of health, work, living arrangements, chores, activities, exercise and be grateful.

February: Make mistakes. Do you best.  Be Generous.

March: Be present. Be Patient. Don’t settle for “I am here…” go for “Here I am!”

April: Go somewhere new! Make some “I was here” footprints. Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle your setbacks.

May: Be loving and love will come looking for you. Get creative with your life.

June: Keep in touch with friends. Get outside!

July: Be Fearless

August: Explore; find Joy!

Chapter 6: June - Playing Hard and Working Harder.

June flew by this year! Probably because I was so very, very busy.  I think we can be TOO busy sometimes. I noticed that I was getting lost in the daily tasks a little bit and tried to add a bit more play into my day. Some days this made for a happy balance, but others it just made busier.

My goals for June were: Keep in touch with friends and get outside!  It was a wonderful month of seeing friends I hadn't seen in a while!  Going to lunch, grabbing a quick breakfast, a birthday party, meeting up for a relaxing chat in the evening sun, seeing family for games and sharing a meal and some laughter made for exciting things to look forward to. Seeing everyone added so many great memories as well. Two friends I saw this month were from out of the country, two were from out of state, one was a brand new person, and a few were from out of town. Regardless if they live down the street or just a few minutes away, it takes attention and intention to tend to lasting friendships. It was so rewarding to connect with the amazing people I care so much about.
Getting outdoors was the other happiness goal I had this month. I have to say whether it was a walk, a bike ride, practicing my swing at the driving range, taking a day trip to the beach, or gearing up for a fun family camping trip, I ALWAYS look forward to being outdoors!  My adventure dog keeps me actively seeking new ways to be outside and I love that I have that daily motivation to move and explore.  My favorite happiness addition this month was a second hand hammock.  After a long day of work, I could lay in my hammock and read a book, take a quick nap, or just enjoy the feeling of swaying in the breeze! I felt more peaceful, relaxed and happy just sitting and enjoying the moment.  Hammocks make me happy. :)  Next month I will add a new goal to my happiness project.

July: Be Fearless.

Remember these are not just mini-month long experiments, but things that I will continue to carry throughout the year.  Next month I’ll continue to add to my growing list of ideas for how to live a happier life.  Feel free to try them out with me! 

January: Be Sarah- I am already enough.  Smile when you wake up.  Keep on top of health, work, living arrangements, chores, activities, exercise and be grateful.

February: Make mistakes. Do you best.  Be Generous.

March: Be present. Be Patient. Don’t settle for “I am here…” go for “Here I am!”

April: Go somewhere new! Make some “I was here” footprints. Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle your setbacks.

May: Be loving and love will come looking for you. Get creative with your life.

June: Keep in touch with friends. Get outside!

July: Be Fearless

Chapter 5: Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, this ship’s not goin’ down!

 May proved to be full of little happiness experiments.  My happiness goals for May were: Be loving and love will come looking for you. &  Get creative with your life. 

I mean “loving” in the broadest sense of the word.  Examples are helping strangers, being more patient with irritating individuals, in general upping my social skills when itcomes to being a loving, caring person. You might say I made a conscious effort to be a better social version of myself. I don’t know anyone who has too many friends, so being present, open, and kind to others paid off in the making of some great new friends!  Having fun events to look forward to lifts the spirits.  The brighter and warmer weather also brings along more outdoor opportunities, so getting out and being active has become much easier to do!  I love the outdoors and just being outside more often is having a great positive effect on my body and spirit. 

As far as getting creative with my life…where to start?  I added a third part-time job and creatively fit it into my other work schedules.  I took some pictures of the biggest-brightest moon I’ve ever seen.  I hiked in the Oregon gorge with my adventure dog. I took a poll from some friends on things that make them happy. Some ofthe results were: Traveling - A full tummy - A full tank of gas - Feeling rested - Sleeping in - Sunshine - Massage - Finding something lost - Getting mail - Swinging in a hammock -Dancing - A glass of wine - the smell of coffee - summer breeze - children laughing – friends – sleeping kids – cuddling with soft dogs – air conditioning in the desert - plane tickets - fresh baked cookies -  holding hands - the sound of the ocean -  the smell of a campfire – Savasana after a good yoga practice - banana bread -  a family secret apple pie recipe -  sailing on the lake -  shell hunting at the beach– the smell of fresh cut grass – bubble baths. I have been listening to some amazing music and finding ways to laugh more and worry less. I organized a few areas of my life and have been trying new foods and looking for new experiences.  Maybe more than any other month this one has brought more happiness to my life.  The last five months of this project are paying off and I am looking forward to seeing what happens in the rest of this year! Next month’s goal is: Keep in touch with friends. & Get outdoors!

Rememberthese are not just mini-month long experiments, but things that I will continueto carry throughout the year.  Next month I’ll continue to add to mygrowing list of ideas for how to live a happier life.  Feel free to trythem out with me! 

“But out of limitations comes creativity.” – Debbie Allen

January: Be Sarah- I am already enough.  Smile when you wake up.  Keep on top of health, work, living arrangements,chores, activities, exercise and be grateful.

February: Make mistakes. Do you best.  Be Generous.

March: Be present. Be Patient. Don’t settle for “Iam here…” go for “Here I am!”

April: Go somewhere new! Make some “I was here”footprints. Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle your setbacks.

May: Be loving and love will come looking for you. Get creative with your life.

June: Keep in touch with friends. Get outside!

Chapter 4: April showers, wild flowers and BIG, BIG trees!

 Welcome back to my little Happiness Project.

January: Be Sarah- I am already enough.  Smile when you wake up.  Keep on top of health, work, living arrangements, chores, activities, exercise and be grateful.

February: Make mistakes. Do you best.  Be Generous.

March: Be present. Be Patient. Don’t settle for “I am here…” go for “Here I am!”

April: Go somewhere new! Make some “I was here” footprints. Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle your setbacks.

April has whirled by! I really enjoy travel and adventure, so part of my April goal was to go somewhere new and make some “I was here” footprints.  I decided it was time to see the Redwood trees and took a road trip to check them out. There is something exhilarating about traveling down roads you have never journeyed on before. I love the way you can never tell what is coming up around the next bend in the road and the great surprise when you find something beautiful and new.  It was amazing to camp at the base of trees big enough to drive a car through and enjoy the soft misty mornings and rich, foresty smell.  Pearl, my adventure dog, came along and loved fetching sticks in the rivers and playing in the ocean surf along the coast. If anyone has a lead on a job that includes travel and adventure and a dog…please let me know so I can apply! 

The second part of my April project was about setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle your setbacks.  I can’t say I know many people who don’t want to be successful.  I believe it is part of human nature and also engrained in my generation to be as successful as early in life as possible. What “success” looks like for each person can be drastically different.  I also believe there is a big difference between being perceived as successful and actually FEELING successful.  Setback: my car needed three major repairs all at once. Success: car repairs were under warranty (just barely).  Setback: rejected for a few jobs. Success: applied for more than a dozen other jobs and tried networking like crazy. Setback: unexpected bills. Success: took on extra work. I tend to look my setbacks straight on and with as much confidence as I can muster say, “You won’t beat me. I will find a way to overcome this.” And if that doesn’t work there is always chocolate, a good laugh and a chance to try again tomorrow.

Remember these are not just mini-month long experiments, but things that I will continue to carry throughout the year.  Next month I’ll continue to add to my growing list of ideas for how to live a happier life.  Feel free to try them out with me! 

May: Be loving and love will come looking for you. Get creative with your life.

 

"Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties." – Gail Sheehy

Chapter 3: March, March, March!

If you don’t know what my Happiness Project is about be sure to catch up on January and February’s Blogs because March is come and gone and we are already into April! 

January: Be Sarah- I am already enough.  Smile when you wake up.  Keep on top of health, work, living arrangements, chores, activities, exercise and be grateful.

February: Make mistakes. Do you best.  Be Generous.

March: Be present. Be Patient. Don’t settle for “I am here…” go for “Here I am!”

Be present: I started March off with something very new and different. It is called a Novena of Grace and is a nine day journey of community prayer and liturgy humbly asking God to shine clear and deep insight into those earnest questions we bring for our lives and our world. It is meant as a way to be present in the moment, to look at your circumstances with a fresh perspective and practice listening with your heart to what God desires for us.  I still am working out the details, but I like that this was an intentional way to call to mind both the issues I need help with and the areas where I can give gratitude.  This brings me to my next goal…

Be Patient:  Patience is a virtue, right? Ah this one is so hard at times!  Isn’t just about EVERYONE tested in their patience on a daily basis?  I am no different and working to become extra patient within the boundaries of my life is a great challenge for me right now.  I feel sometimes like I am running an endurance race and at the end will be some great payoff for all of the patience I can muster right now…or maybe not the big payoff I am hoping for, but the nice consolation prize of being a more patient person in general through the practice.  Thomas Carlyle once said, “Endurance is patience concentrated.”  I agree.

Last but not least on March’s list of goals was; don’t settle for “I am here”…go for “Here I am!” (Picture an Eeyore voice saying the first one and Susie Sunshine saying the second! Haha) If Skiing, field trips with college students, learning to love trail running, getting a second part-time job, remembering my Dad by sharing photos, going wine tasting with friends, taking on big projects, going to concerts, spending time with family, taking a great trip to the beach with my friend, getting my teeth cleaned, and meeting new people and pets are any indication that I am pushing out on the edges of my life and working to make it bigger and better with each new experience then I am succeeding. 

Remember these are not just mini-month long experiments, but things that I will continue to carry throughout the year.  Next month I’ll continue to add to my growing list of ideas for how to live a happier life.  Feel free to try them out with me! 

April: Go somewhere new! Make some “I was here” footprints.  Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle your setbacks.

 Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

Chapter 2: February's Trip

So January was the beginning of a project I have undertaken this year based on a book by Gretchen Rubin called, The Happiness Project.  January goals included: Be Sarah – I am already enough. Smile when you wake up. Keep on top of health, work, living arrangements, chores, beauty, activities, exercise, and be grateful. For February you have to ADD to the mix rather than just switch to new goals, so here is what I decided.

February: Make mistakes. Do your best. Be Generous. (Plus all the stuff from January.)

Mistakes happen all the time in our lives, but it was really different having that set as goal for a month.  It is not that I set out to make mistakes, but when I DID make mistakes it seemed somehow less stressful or frustrating because I had already given myself permission for the month.   I fell off my bike and got all scraped up and bruised, but kept going. I got a haircut at a place that specializes in men’s cuts, but it worked out alright. My laptop broke, but I had it fixed. I had some sad moments, but remembered to smile in the morning when I woke up anyway. I like how John Wooden explains it, “If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.” Anyone who knows me knows I am a doer, so making mistakes is just going to be part of my game.

Do your best. I feel I am doing my best to be patient, to be persistent in my search for employment, to tackle the tasks that arise one at a time, to be a good steward of my resources. Doing your best and doing the best you can are sometimes too close to tell apart. I am working especially hard in February to not just do the best I can in my current circumstances, but to do my best in all things.  

Be generous. This is tough during a time where our economy is so grim, but generosity isn’t just about financial giving. Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” I believe that finding ways to be generous is also finding ways to make your life richer. I also believe that listing out a person’s generous acts would completely reverse the effects of them, so instead I’ll just offer some ideas.  Offer your help wherever you can.  Know someone sick? Offer to help. Know someone struggling with a huge project? Offer to help.  Someone needs a ride? Needs help with child care? OFFERING is the key element here.  It is in the offering and then giving of your help that generosity arises. 

This year being leap year added a whole extra day for adventure into February. I hope you had a great time on your trip and am looking forward to more adventures next month. If you’d like to join me in my happiness project for March here is a sneak peak at my plan.  March: Be present. Be patient. Don’t settle for “I am here…” go for “Here I am!” I hope you are finding ways to be happy in your journey.  Go for it!

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – J Robert Oppenheimer

Happy Travelers

Well, I have taken my sweet, sweet time in posting this January, but I have been busy trying out a new idea. I recently read a book called, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She describes it: “ The Happiness Project is the memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.”  In her book she month to month, systematically goes through many of her experiments in finding joy, testing out theories and ultimately gaining happiness. Each month she ups the stakes by adding something new to the mix and I decided to take her format and adapt it in a small way for myself.  The idea of New Year’s resolutions have never set particularly well with me since most of the time by the end of January the people I know who made them can barely remember what they resolved to do differently.  I decided to start simply. 

January: Be Sarah – I am already enough. Smile when you wake up. Keep on top of health, work, finding beauty, activities, exercise, and be grateful.

So far so good.  It is surprising what something so little as remembering to smile as soon as you wake up can do for your outlook on the day.  I have been setting smaller goals and been happier with the feeling of accomplishing them.

Health: drinking more water, making appointments for checkups, getting enough rest and eating healthier and better sized portions with less snacking. 

Work: I have been picking up shifts and sending in applications, re-vamping my resume and putting out feelers for more permanent positions. 

Finding beauty: I have intentionally slowed down long enough to notice outdoor beauty, poetry, books, observe artwork, go wine tasting, send a message to a friend, comment on photos,  and a million other little things that add up to a better brighter whole.

Activities/Exercise: I am becoming a pro at finding activities that cost little to nothing to enjoy. I bike with my dog, go skiing, snowshoeing, trail hiking, sing in a choir, visit family, play games with friends, salsa dance, write poetry, and I even started running a little. Everything feels just a little bit better when my body and mind have been active.

Most importantly are the first and last parts of this January experiment.  First, I am already enough and the last part, be grateful.  I naturally push myself to improve and become the best version of myself, but we are all works in progress and remembering that I am already enough gives me a sweet kind of permission to be kinder and gentler in the process of becoming.  I have also started a ritual where every night when I am getting ready to sleep I will say out loud some of the things I am grateful for about that day or about my life’s current circumstances. 

If you are interested in starting your own version of a happiness project this year I encourage you to visit this website: http://www.happiness-project.com and taste test some of the simple ideas there to grow more happiness for yourself.   Margaret Lee Runbeck said, “Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.”  I wish all who read this happy travels and don’t forget to smile in the morning!

See you for the next adventure in February!

“The man is happiest who lives from day to day and asks no more, garnering the simple goodness of life.”  – Euripides